


The Falling Of Our Stars

by SpiritMuse



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale is Not Oblivious (Good Omens), Caring Aziraphale (Good Omens), Comforting Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley is Bad at Feelings (Good Omens), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Crowley (Good Omens), Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 09:55:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22465801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpiritMuse/pseuds/SpiritMuse
Summary: The stars had always been... a little difficult, for Crawley, because looking at them always reminded him of Before.At best it made him melancholic for the things that had been. During bad times, it could make him angry all over again, and it could take weeks, months, sometimes even years, for him to settle back into acceptance. So he preferred not to dwell.But he had found it increasingly difficult to say no to the angel over the last two thousand years, so here they were, on their backs, staring up at the night sky.
Comments: 18
Kudos: 63





	The Falling Of Our Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the beautiful art of Asphaloth. <3

The stars had always been... a little difficult, for Crawley. It wasn't that he hated them, exactly. Their beauty was unparalleled, in his opinion. And if that was a selfish opinion because he'd actually made a lot of them back in the day, well, he _was_ a demon after all. And that was also the problem with the stars, because looking at them always reminded him of Before.

At best it made him melancholic for the things that had been. During bad times, it could make him angry all over again, and it could take weeks, months, sometimes even years, for him to settle back into acceptance. So he preferred not to dwell.

But he had found it increasingly difficult to say no to the angel over the last two thousand years, so here they were, on their backs, staring up at the night sky. The long grass slightly prickled Crawley's arms where he'd folded them behind his head, his long red curls flowing everywhere.

Aziraphale so loved to revel in all the beauty of the world. And Crawley couldn't deny that his current admiration for the stars sparked just a little bit of pride in his heart. Which he'd decided was very fittingly demonic.

So, all in all, it could be worse.

Suddenly he spotted something streaking through the sky, down towards the distant horizon, but it disappeared so quickly he wasn't sure he'd really seen it.

Then he saw it again, a small light falling from the sky. And then another, and another. He sat up, confused, eyes glued to the sky. What was going on?

"Oh," said Aziraphale, voice full of wonder, "I've heard of those. Falling stars, the humans call them."

Crawley froze.

'Falling stars.'

Stars, falling from the sky, one by one.

_His_ stars.

He felt his body grow cold.

_She was casting them out._

Before long the night was filled with them, star after star after star tumbling downwards like so many pieces of Crawley's heart. All of his work, carelessly cast aside as if in a final insult. One final rejection.

"Aren't they beautiful?" he heard the angel say from somewhere far away.

Tears were stinging in Crawley's eyes. Suddenly he felt so very very small and helpless. So abandoned, and so very alone. 

He couldn't bear it any more and curled up into himself, drawing up his knees and burying his face in his arms.

"Crawley? Is something wrong?" the angel said, faint concern in his voice.

"'S nothing angel, I'm fine," Crawley said, and he cursed his voice for allowing a tremble like that, cursed himself for showing weakness to an angel like this.

But the angel next to him did nothing to take advantage of the situation, of course, because this wasn't just any angel. Crawley only heard him moving, sitting up, close by but knowing better than to touch. He remained unthreatening, attentive, leaving a silent invitation for Crawley to speak whenever he wanted. 

Crawley didn't. He didn't want to. He couldn't. He was fighting a sudden surge of that old familiar anger and didn't trust himself to open his mouth without screaming. _She was casting them out._ He gnashed his teeth together, face silently pulling into a vicious snarl and for one long, terrifying moment, he _hated._ He hated so much he couldn't breathe. He hated the stars, he hated this world, he hated God, he hated himself, he even hated the angel.

"...Crawley?"

The angel's quiet voice broke the moment and the anger dissipated. Crawley felt himself uncoil and sag down deep into that other old familiar feeling—grief. He blinked as the tears finally started to flow down his face and he took a shuddering breath, trying hard to stay quiet, to not give in. Not where anyone could see.

"Oh, Crawley, my dear boy..." the angel spoke again, and the gentleness in his voice didn't help any at all. It wormed its way into his heart, gently prying it open, laying everything bare for the world to see. Part of him hated it. Hated that this angel could do that to him, and so effortlessly. 

But another part wanted him to. Wanted nothing more than for the angel to _see_ him. 

He swallowed thickly, trying to wrangle his aching throat into cooperation. Breathed carefully through the tears. He opened his mouth, but only a small, pitiful noise came out before his throat closed up again. Crawley felt more tears slipping down his face as he took another deep breath, and tried again.

"The stars," he managed finally, quiet and wavering, "She's casting them out. I made them and she's casting them out," his voice gave out again, leaving the last few words barely a whisper.

He heard a sharp intake of breath right next to him.

"Oh Crawley, no," the angel said immediately, urgently, but still so gentle at the same time, "She's not. She's not casting out any stars. Not yours, not anyone else's. These are new stars, you see, especially made to travel through the sky. They're not even really falling, despite what the humans think."

A small light of hope sputtered to life in the murky depths of Crawley's misery.

"They're not... my stars?" he whispered.

"No, my dear boy, they're not," the angel said, "I promise you, they're not."

"Are you sure?" Crawley asked, because he didn't quite dare to believe yet.

"I'm certain, Crawley." Aziraphale's voice was sure and even, and Crawley dared to believe.

A new wave of emotion washed over him, causing a few more tears to spill. Except this time it was relief.

His stars were still up there. His stars were safe. Unfallen. He hadn't realised how important that was to him.

He carefully blew out a great sigh and tried to regulate his breathing, the storm of emotion calm enough now for him to try and rein it all back in. He pressed his face into his elbow, trying not to make it too obvious that he was drying off his tears. Not that Aziraphale would be fooled in the slightest. He always knew, somehow, even when Crawley was sure he was properly hiding. The angel could be frustratingly perceptive.

Finally he raised his head and looked up. The sky was dark and quiet, the stars unmoving. Of course. Now that he actually _wanted_ to look at them, they weren't there anymore.

"They've gone," he murmured. In the corner of his eye, he saw Aziraphale look up, too.

"They'll come back," Aziraphale said reassuringly, "There was a schedule for them, I think, though I don't know what it is."

Crawley slowly unfurled himself and stood, brushing a wayward string of curls out of his face. He had a thousand thoughts and feelings still swirling around in his soul and he needed some time alone to let it settle and sort it all out.

"I need to go," he said, and looked out at the horizon.

"Where?" said Aziraphale, rising to his feet beside him.

Crawley shrugged and gestured to the world around them in reply.

"Maybe I'll find somewhere quiet and try sleeping for a while," he said, "It's supposed to be nice." And restorative. He'd heard humans say that to each other, at least. 'Go get some sleep, you'll feel better in the morning.' He wondered if that worked for demons, too.

"Before you go, I... I feel I must apologise," Aziraphale said, wringing his hands, "I didn't mean for you to get so upset."

Crawley shrugged nonchalantly.

"'s fine, angel. Not your fault," he said.

"Right," Aziraphale said, looking a little relieved but also still a little doubtful, "Well." 

He looked at Crawley again. "Are you really, though?" he asked, "Fine, I mean."

Crawley stood still for a moment. There was something in the way Aziraphale looked at him. There was always something in the way Aziraphale looked at him.

"No," he found himself saying, honestly, recklessly, "But I will be. I always am, in the end."

Crawley knew himself well enough by now to be sure of that. And knowing that this particular angel was out there helped, too, for reasons he was not quite willing to admit to.

"Well. That's good then, I suppose," Aziraphale said, sounding not entirely convinced.

"Really, angel. Don't worry about me," Crawley said. It wouldn't do to have an angel worrying about a demon.

"I'm an angel, Crawley, I can't help but worry for others," Aziraphale said primly, "It's in my nature."

Crawley sighed and shook his head. Despite everything, he found the corners of his mouth slightly pulling up into a smile. He turned and started walking away, signalling an end to the conversation.

"See you around, angel," he said, throwing his arm up in a nonchalant wave, cutting off any more potential protestations.

"Maybe we can watch the stars again someday," he added over his shoulder, impulsively.

"Ah. Yes. I... I'd like that," he thought he heard his friend mumble quietly.

**Author's Note:**

> [See the original comic on Twitter](https://twitter.com/asphaloth/status/1218302743233720320)  
[See the original comic on tumblr](https://glorfy-the-bright-haired-ellon.tumblr.com/post/190314587991/lmao-imagine-the-initial-shock-of-seeing-a-meteor)  
  
I hope you enjoyed. Feel free to leave a comment if you did. It's never too late. <3


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